Wanna know a secret?

I can't keep one! Well, not very well, anyway. But I'm learning. It was impossible to try & keep my pregnancies a secret...I just had to tell SOMEONE. I've had to learn the hard way not to betray a confidence. There is something thrilling about having a friend let you in on her secret. And it's fun to plan secret surprises & see the results of your hard work. But it's hard for me to live aspects of my spiritual life in secret. I'm all about community & sharing what you're going through - what I'm going through. It's part of my extroverted personality & in a lot of ways, my comfort zone.

But Christ calls us to give in secret, pray in secret, and fast in secret [Matt. 6:1-18] because God will reward what is done in secret. The key is to "be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them." It gets at the heart of the matter - our motivation for why we do what we do. If I get praise from men, then I'd better enjoy it, because that's all I'm going to get. But if I am doing it for Christ, it is a secret shared between Him & me. I don't know why it is so hard for me. Is it because I can't share that secret smile with God that says, "Only you & I know..."? Or is it my human nature that longs for approval & appreciation? Those pats on the back - "Good job...you're a really great person."

There's a balance between living out my faith as "salt & light" for a hopeless world to see the hope that is within me, and giving, praying & fasting before my Father without expecting men to notice or approve. It's something I've been challenged with anyway...

I realize too that learning to do these things in secret takes practice. That I can start small, that I will fail, but as I fall toward God, He will continue to grow me up in the image of Christ. This is one secret I want to keep...