Why am I still up?

Too much Diet Pepsi. Too much thinking. Too much to do.

It's almost midnight & Phil is gigging for frogs with his buddy Jim. Basically it's a way to explain the need grown men have to get in touch with their inner "boy" and have a blast chasing frogs & getting muddy! If I had my camera I would take a picture of the gig he constructed. It's quite the weapon. And I would have loved to take a picture of my boys sharpening their own "gigs" (sticks). Noah stood in the driveway with no shirt on, and informed me he was gonna gig the van. It was a "Lord of the Flies" moment. If only I had my camera...but I left it in Kentucky, and that's a story for another day. I am glad my husband is having fun, but he'd better not bring any frog legs home. I've put up with a deer head for the past several months. I draw the line @ frog legs. A woman can only take so much.

Goodnight. I'm going to bed. I better not have nightmares.

My boys have been getting along really well, for the most part. But this morning an argument quickly escalated to yelling & then throwing things. I decided it was time for a break & a snack. They were sitting at the table munching, when Daniel turned to Noah with big eyes & said, "Noah? Will you forgive me for everything?"

All is right with the world.

Confession:

I have been totally and completely lazy the past couple of days in preparation for next week and the craziness that is VBS. Any woman with kids who volunteers in any way during VBS knows what I'm taking about. Yesterday I took two naps. Two. Who does that? I finally broke down & loaded the dishwasher last night @ 10pm. I was worried we might not have any clean dishes today. I did consider using paper, but it's hard to eat cereal off a plate. I have low aspirations for today - a trip to the thrift store, a stop at the bank, a doctor's appointment, and maybe swimming. It's too hot for anything else.

This summer I have enjoyed having older children. They dress themselves, help around the house, pick up, play on their own, are fairly independent and very resourceful. I like this new phase. There are still arguments to resolve and activities to create, but overall it's been an easy job. I has allowed me to be lazy...now & then...

Travels...and changes....

When we were in Colorado for my brother's wedding, my uncle graciously invited us to come back for a week so my husband could do some repairs in/on their home. We thought about the near-100 degree temperatures here in Oklahoma, and then about the cool mountain air...and couldn't resist the offer. Not to mention, it was a "working vacation" and a chance to spend time with my aunt & uncle. Our air-conditioner broke down the night before we left. I was very glad to leave home. The kids loved hanging out on the deck & we got to roast s'mores a few nights. It seemed a little strange to be building a fire & curling up with a blanket in the middle of summer, but I didn't complain...

On Saturday, we took the kids to the zoo. The highlight was being there to see them feed the mountain lions. Afterwards, we headed over to the kids area, where my boys got in touch with their "inner" lions & had fun roaring & growling the rest of the day.

I love how quickly children build friendships. We met another family from my aunt's church @ the park & my kids had fun playing with her kids. By Sunday, they were looking forward to seeing their friends again, and Daniel confided in me, "Maximus is going to be my next cousin!" Apparently that's a step up from "friend".

This week it has been about getting "back into the groove" and catching up. I'm not sure how well I'm doing at either one, but I'm working on it. I think I finally finished unpacking from our trip. Just in time for laundry day! We're looking at some big changes for next year as I accepted a position to teach Kindergarten for 3 months (I'm sort of "filling in", while the teacher they've hired finishes her student teaching.) But I'm excited about the challenge & am also glad it is just for 3 months. I have pursued avenues to complete my teaching degree & kept running into what seemed like dead ends. But I have finally found a place that will accept most of my college credits & I can take online courses! So that is a huge answer to prayer. My goal is to finish my degree, get ACSI certification, and go on to get my state license. After 4 babies, I'm fairly convinced my brain has shrunk, so we'll see if I'm smart enough to do it! :) But I'm gonna try...

What I've inherited

I love to drive my Mom crazy & blame her for all the things that are physically wrong with me - headaches, achy shoulders, the fact that I have a hard time finishing a...what was I talking about? I can attribute my bad knees and over-active, grease producing hair follicles to my Dad. :) But lately, I'm starting to think that I can also blame him for the fact that I am getting more emotional with each passing year.

You already know that I turn into a blubbering fool when it comes to weddings, but last night at the VBS program, I lost it as I listened to the kids sing, "Yeah, the word of the Lord is true, we can trust Him, we can trust Him..." I tried to hold them back, but they were there, and they were real...real tears, people. We bought the CD & were listening to it in the kitchen tonight while I was making supper. The kids were singing their hearts out & I thought, "Oh boy, here we go again..." I'm pretty sure it's because I was cutting onions. Yep. That's the reason.

When I was in high school, I remember watching a Hallmark movie with my Dad. Those movies can be gut wrenching, but he was just fine, until the commercial came on. You know the one? Where the kid is reading a card from his big brother, telling how he's sorry he can't be home, and then suddenly he walks in the door and surprises everyone for Christmas? That's all it took. Just a 90 second commerical to break the dam & release the water works.

These days Dad gets teared up when he listens to a song or hears someone speak or sees his children and grandchilren growing in Christ and carrying on a legacy. It's something I love about him. He's not afraid to be emotional or sensitive...or even cry. As his daughter, I'm required to harass him for crying over commercials. :) But as much as I fight it, it's something I'm proud to have inherited from my Dad.

Shoe's on the other foot...and I'm not likin' it

My baby is going to camp tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm not ready. And she's really too young to be going off all by herself, don't you think? The other 3 are going to Grandma's today, which means we have 24 hours with our eldest. It hasn't been this way for 8 years. Yesterday she looked at me with a sparkle in her eye & asked what kind of things we would be doing once "the other kids" were gone. I told her we were going to clean the whole house from top to bottom. I got an eye-roll for that. As we count down the days until camp, she gets increasingly chatty. I finally asked her if she was nervous. "Kind o'...and kind o' excited too."

I remember that feeling. Only I was the one looking forward to seeing friends & swimming every day & the excitement of school & being on my own. I never was on this side of the fence - worrying about if she'll be safe, how it will go, if she gets homesick, if someone makes fun of her for leaving her zipper down (she does that a lot), if she forgets to brush her teeth, or if she has too much fun & never wants to come back home again. I don't like being on this side of life! I feel compelled to say to my Mom, "I'm sorry I ever left & put you through this!" But at the same time, I know that this is a part of life, a part of growing up, a part of letting go.

There is one thing that gives me comfort & security: The God of the Universe loves & cares for this little girl more than I can comprehend & He is there with her when I am not. So I will trust His daughter to Him, and then I'll pry my fingers off & kiss her goodbye...

Rediscovered

A couple of days ago, my boys were bored - which really means they were fighting & irritating each other, which means they were getting my last nerve & my patience was wearing thin. As their punishment, I sent them to retrieve the forgotten box of Legos out from under their bed & told them to "play nice, or else"! The "or else" is usually something miserable - like chores, or weeding. We received these Legos as a Christmas gift over 4 years ago & though they have been played with here & there, the kids never showed a lot of interest in them. Until now. I remember my younger brother spending countless hours with his Legos, building race cars, and boats, and airplanes, and anything else that entered his imagination. Now as I sit & watch Noah, I smile to see the same quiet boy, the wheels turning, and his creativity growing. As for the fighting, it still continues. Now it's just over stolen pieces and destroyed products.