The other 3 are going to Grandma's today, which means we have 24 hours with our eldest. It hasn't been this way for 8 years. Yesterday she looked at me with a sparkle in her eye & asked what kind of things we would be doing once "the other kids" were gone. I told her we were going to clean the whole house from top to bottom. I got an eye-roll for that. As we count down the days until camp, she gets increasingly chatty. I finally asked her if she was nervous. "Kind o'...and kind o' excited too." I remember that feeling. Only I was the one looking forward to seeing friends & swimming every day & the excitement of school & being on my own. I never was on this side of the fence - worrying about if she'll be safe, how it will go, if she gets homesick, if someone makes fun of her for leaving her zipper down (she does that a lot), if she forgets to brush her teeth, or if she has too much fun & never wants to come back home again. I don't like being on this side of life! I feel compelled to say to my Mom, "I'm sorry I ever left & put you through this!" But at the same time, I know that this is a part of life, a part of growing up, a part of letting go.
There is one thing that gives me comfort & security: The God of the Universe loves & cares for this little girl more than I can comprehend & He is there with her when I am not. So I will trust His daughter to Him, and then I'll pry my fingers off & kiss her goodbye...
5 comments:
Hopefully the week will pass before you know it! If you need some activities to take your mind off of it, I am sure we can get together this week and do something fun...just to relax.
You are such a good mom!! She will be back before you know it!
Oh Amy, my kids are no where ready to go to camp by themselves (it will be here before I know it, though!). It was good to read your blog. It nearly brought tears to my eyes and was such an encouragement to when it is my turn.
Yep, she looks just a little young.
I've been missing you a LOT lately. But whenever I get my strongest urges to talk to you, I'm in the middle of something, or I'm getting ready to be in the middle of something. I just haven't had time for a good long chat. Maybe today during rest time. Oh, drat. This is banquet night. Fried chicken and all the fixin's. Maybe another time...... love you though.
I remember those days. It's scarey the first time you send them off! But like you said, God is the one caring for, loving and protecting them. We're just here to be His helpers and to pray for them. Also, remember that the job of parenting is to teach your children to live without you. And I'm sure you have and are continuing to do an excellent job of that!!
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