Suddenly I was feeling overwhelmed.
An almost panicked stress that takes over and becomes all-consuming.
Soon was I was feeling sorry for myself, and looking for a means of escape.
I didn't feel like doing (or dealing with) what needed to be done, so I retreated to my computer instead to waste time & roam blogs.
Long story short...I found myself here, which lead me to this...a story of a boy growing up in one of the poorest areas of Kenya. Guess what he has written over the door of his cardboard hut?
God loves me enough to feed me, bless me, and give me hope for the future. Amen.
Ugh. I'm overwhelmed with paperwork, laundry, toys, and clutter.
Time to grow up.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
My Heritage
Abbie came home from school the other day with questions about her ancestry. Philip had it easy, as he comes from a "pure bread" German/Prussian Mennonite heritage. I'm more of a "mixed breed". :) And though I could remember some of my ancestry, most of it was sketchy. But my Grandpa had a passion for genealogy & spent countless hours researching. It is because of him that I can explain what "third cousin once removed" means. At one point I remembered getting a stack of charts and statistics. I promptly filed them away without giving them much thought. But yesterday, I went searching.
Phil laughed at me while I studied the papers, saying Grandpa would be so proud that I was spending time on this, and confident that none of my cousins would be! But mixed in with great-great-grandparents, and birth dates, and marriages...I found something precious. A story. A timeline of my Grandpa's life. It wasn't anything fancy. It was a simple story full of facts & dates, but in between the lines, I saw something beautiful...
My Grandpa became a Christian at 18, just four months after hearing the message of salvation for the first time. Early on, God placed a passion for missions in his heart. At 21, he married my Grandma. By 26, they had finished their Bible degrees, been accepted by a mission agency, and were anticipating serving in South Africa. In the midst of pursuing his dream, his family grew...by four. Life must have been incredibly busy. He was installing furnaces, involved in church ministry, raising support to go oversees, and parenting an 8, 6, 3, & 1 year old. In the summer of 1955, my Grandma contracted polio. Because of her health, and a risky pregnancy 3 years later, my Grandpa's dream of becoming a missionary became impossible. I sometimes wonder if he was disappointed, disillusioned.
This week I have been studying the life of Joseph. Joseph was stuck in prison for 13 years, after being sold by his brothers, and then falsely accused by his boss' wife. It must have been incredibly frustrating to be living in those circumstances without the hope that life could change. And even after helping Pharaoh's cup bearer, he was again forgotten & in prison for another 2 years. But despite what may have seemed like a bleak future from his perspective, Joseph continued to be faithful in whatever he did. And in the end, when he faced the people who had in effect "set the ball rolling", he told his brothers, "...it was not you who sent me here, but God."
My Grandpa did not live a glamorous life. He lived and he worked hard. But more than that, he was faithful. He was faithful to his wife for 42 years. He was faithful in praying for his children & grandchildren. He faithfully served on Missions Committees. He was faithful in serving God right where he was. And God rewarded his faithfulness, as three of his children went on to serve oversees as missionaries.
I never heard him complain that his life hadn't turned out the way he planned. I saw him trust God with His plan.
It is a heritage I hope I will pass down to my children.
Phil laughed at me while I studied the papers, saying Grandpa would be so proud that I was spending time on this, and confident that none of my cousins would be! But mixed in with great-great-grandparents, and birth dates, and marriages...I found something precious. A story. A timeline of my Grandpa's life. It wasn't anything fancy. It was a simple story full of facts & dates, but in between the lines, I saw something beautiful...
My Grandpa became a Christian at 18, just four months after hearing the message of salvation for the first time. Early on, God placed a passion for missions in his heart. At 21, he married my Grandma. By 26, they had finished their Bible degrees, been accepted by a mission agency, and were anticipating serving in South Africa. In the midst of pursuing his dream, his family grew...by four. Life must have been incredibly busy. He was installing furnaces, involved in church ministry, raising support to go oversees, and parenting an 8, 6, 3, & 1 year old. In the summer of 1955, my Grandma contracted polio. Because of her health, and a risky pregnancy 3 years later, my Grandpa's dream of becoming a missionary became impossible. I sometimes wonder if he was disappointed, disillusioned.
This week I have been studying the life of Joseph. Joseph was stuck in prison for 13 years, after being sold by his brothers, and then falsely accused by his boss' wife. It must have been incredibly frustrating to be living in those circumstances without the hope that life could change. And even after helping Pharaoh's cup bearer, he was again forgotten & in prison for another 2 years. But despite what may have seemed like a bleak future from his perspective, Joseph continued to be faithful in whatever he did. And in the end, when he faced the people who had in effect "set the ball rolling", he told his brothers, "...it was not you who sent me here, but God."
My Grandpa did not live a glamorous life. He lived and he worked hard. But more than that, he was faithful. He was faithful to his wife for 42 years. He was faithful in praying for his children & grandchildren. He faithfully served on Missions Committees. He was faithful in serving God right where he was. And God rewarded his faithfulness, as three of his children went on to serve oversees as missionaries.
I never heard him complain that his life hadn't turned out the way he planned. I saw him trust God with His plan.
It is a heritage I hope I will pass down to my children.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Just what I needed...
It seems the last several weeks (months?) have been a roller-coaster of emotions for me. There have been uncertainties, challenges, and struggles with disillusionment. I know that my circumstances are unique to me, but everyone can relate to the emotions.
I love my Bible study, despite the fact that I manage to cry over something each week. I can't help it. I have a leaky eye. It's hereditary...just ask my Dad. :) Every week I walk away feeling overwhelmed, "Wow...that's what I needed to hear..." It's not often what I want to hear, but what I need to be reminded of. And it's the first time I think I have felt physically refreshed by the truths of Scripture. It's better than caffeine. Don't get me wrong, I'm still loving my Diet Pepsi, just sometimes it's not enough.
We have looked at life's "seasons" - the growth in Spring, the busyness of Summer, the change in Autumn, and the loneliness of Winter. We have studied the life of Ruth, Solomon, David, and Joseph. I am reminded over & over that God is beside me, no matter the circumstances, the disappointments.
This week for our "homework", we were supposed to make a "timeline" of our lives, from childhood to present. We're to include big events - like marriage, babies, moves, etc. I wasn't looking forward to doing it. I thought it was going to be depressing. But I actually enjoyed it. It was good to look at my past - the difficult challenges, transitions, the people God has sent into my life to minister to me & encourage me @ just the right time, the things He has taught me "through the fire", and the ways my life has been blessed. I finished my timeline & read this:
I cried.
That darn leaky eye!
I love my Bible study, despite the fact that I manage to cry over something each week. I can't help it. I have a leaky eye. It's hereditary...just ask my Dad. :) Every week I walk away feeling overwhelmed, "Wow...that's what I needed to hear..." It's not often what I want to hear, but what I need to be reminded of. And it's the first time I think I have felt physically refreshed by the truths of Scripture. It's better than caffeine. Don't get me wrong, I'm still loving my Diet Pepsi, just sometimes it's not enough.
We have looked at life's "seasons" - the growth in Spring, the busyness of Summer, the change in Autumn, and the loneliness of Winter. We have studied the life of Ruth, Solomon, David, and Joseph. I am reminded over & over that God is beside me, no matter the circumstances, the disappointments.
This week for our "homework", we were supposed to make a "timeline" of our lives, from childhood to present. We're to include big events - like marriage, babies, moves, etc. I wasn't looking forward to doing it. I thought it was going to be depressing. But I actually enjoyed it. It was good to look at my past - the difficult challenges, transitions, the people God has sent into my life to minister to me & encourage me @ just the right time, the things He has taught me "through the fire", and the ways my life has been blessed. I finished my timeline & read this:
Lord, I believe and accept that this season, every season past, and every season to come is Your season for my life. Lord, I believe and accept that this season, every season past, and every season to come has divine purpose and is appropriate for me. And Lord, although I cannot fully see the eternal value and purpose of each season of my life today, I believe and accept by faith that you will reveal this to me in the future.
I cried.
That darn leaky eye!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Beautiful Colorado
We had a wonderful week in Colorado with Phil's brother & family. They gave us a gift of free lodging & a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take our kids skiing. We stayed in Vail & had fun riding the gondola our first day there. We visited the Science Center at the top of the mountain, enjoyed chicken noodle soup near an open fire pit, and later Phil, Matthew, Abbie, Grace, & Noah got to go on a snow shoe walk under the light of a full moon.
Nothing like some yummy hot chocolate on a cold, cold day! 
Another day, we explored a bit of Vail & took the kids to the Colorado Ski Museum. 
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Unexpected
I was checking email this morning and making my list of all I hope to accomplish today. Someone sent me this link and it was an unexpected surprise, but just exactly what I needed to hear today. So I thought I would share it with you.
For every Mom who feels invisible...
For every Mom who feels invisible...
Monday, January 4, 2010
I must taste good...
I was expecting yesterday to be like every other Sunday.
Get up early, enjoy the quiet house & an uninterrupted shower, wake the kids...then try to survive the mayhem of Sunday morning. The goal is just to have everyone presentable & out the door in time for church without too many tears, fits or drama. Then I get to paste a smile on my face so that during the greeting time when everyone is asking, "How are you?", I can answer, "Fine!" or "Great!", instead of snapping at them & saying, "My morning was crazy...how about yours?!?!?"
Okay, maybe that's not an accurate picture of my Sunday mornings. It is getting easier now that the kids are older. At least I no longer run the risk of getting spit-up or poop on my outfit. About 50% of the time, it's smooth sailing, but there are always those mornings...when I'm too busy getting everyone else ready that I don't realize I missed breakfast until I'm standing in front of the doughnut table & wishing there were healthier options offered.
But then I just eat the chocolate doughnut & all is right with the world again. Sort of.
I digress. Yesterday I woke up to an itchy ear...a bug bite...most likely a spider bite. A little while after I noticed the itchy bump on my ear, my chin started to feel numb. Sort of like after a visit to the dentist when the anesthesia is wearing off. By the time I rolled out of bed to check the mirror, my face was feeling hot & weird. It was a nice shade of red & swelling rapidly. Allergic reaction. Or a brown recluse. Maybe I'm dying. Great. Even if I paste a smile at church, it will be blatantly obvious that something is wrong with me.
I popped a Benadryl to manage the itching & went through the motions of getting everyone ready. By the time church started, I was getting desperate. I found my friend, who is a nurse, who conferred with another nurse; their diagnosis was that I needed a shot of cortisone. Unfortunately Urgent Care and Minor Emergency aren't open on Sunday mornings, so we headed to the ER for some much needed relief. My friend sat & waited with me until I got my shot...right in the hiney ...because that is what friends do. And they do not laugh at you while you're getting one...well, most of the time.
I made it back to church for the last 15 min. of the sermon, made it through lunch (thanks to a wonderful sister-in-law for throwing it together), and crashed for a nap. The Benadryl was finally kicking in. Good news is my ear won't fall off. The Dr. didn't think it was a brown recluse bite. Bad news is we'll be "bombing" the house & checking nooks and crannies for hungry spiders.
I know I'm sweet and all, but I'll just stick to having my husband nibble on my ears from here on out...
Get up early, enjoy the quiet house & an uninterrupted shower, wake the kids...then try to survive the mayhem of Sunday morning. The goal is just to have everyone presentable & out the door in time for church without too many tears, fits or drama. Then I get to paste a smile on my face so that during the greeting time when everyone is asking, "How are you?", I can answer, "Fine!" or "Great!", instead of snapping at them & saying, "My morning was crazy...how about yours?!?!?"
Okay, maybe that's not an accurate picture of my Sunday mornings. It is getting easier now that the kids are older. At least I no longer run the risk of getting spit-up or poop on my outfit. About 50% of the time, it's smooth sailing, but there are always those mornings...when I'm too busy getting everyone else ready that I don't realize I missed breakfast until I'm standing in front of the doughnut table & wishing there were healthier options offered.
But then I just eat the chocolate doughnut & all is right with the world again. Sort of.
I digress. Yesterday I woke up to an itchy ear...a bug bite...most likely a spider bite. A little while after I noticed the itchy bump on my ear, my chin started to feel numb. Sort of like after a visit to the dentist when the anesthesia is wearing off. By the time I rolled out of bed to check the mirror, my face was feeling hot & weird. It was a nice shade of red & swelling rapidly. Allergic reaction. Or a brown recluse. Maybe I'm dying. Great. Even if I paste a smile at church, it will be blatantly obvious that something is wrong with me.
I popped a Benadryl to manage the itching & went through the motions of getting everyone ready. By the time church started, I was getting desperate. I found my friend, who is a nurse, who conferred with another nurse; their diagnosis was that I needed a shot of cortisone. Unfortunately Urgent Care and Minor Emergency aren't open on Sunday mornings, so we headed to the ER for some much needed relief. My friend sat & waited with me until I got my shot...right in the hiney ...because that is what friends do. And they do not laugh at you while you're getting one...well, most of the time.
I made it back to church for the last 15 min. of the sermon, made it through lunch (thanks to a wonderful sister-in-law for throwing it together), and crashed for a nap. The Benadryl was finally kicking in. Good news is my ear won't fall off. The Dr. didn't think it was a brown recluse bite. Bad news is we'll be "bombing" the house & checking nooks and crannies for hungry spiders.
I know I'm sweet and all, but I'll just stick to having my husband nibble on my ears from here on out...
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy 2010!
Here's wishing you a Happy New Year!
Tradition!!! New Year's cookies
(not really a cookie at all, but a fried doughnut with raisins
...it's a Mennonite thing)
Playing "Go Fish" with Grammie
Ticket to Ride
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