Hello, Reality...please leave.

Today has been a rough day. I'm not writing so you'll feel sorry for me. I'm just writing because I know that you can relate. My life is not sunshine & peaches all the time...and today is one of those days. I would just like to climb back into bed & start the day over...but then I would have to rewind the clock to last night...

What my sons destroyed in 3 hours will take me all day to restore. Can I get a witness? How many mothers dread leaving the house for the simple fact that they never know what they will discover when they return? And upon opening the door, how many of us just want to run back to our vehicle & drive away...all the way to a deserted island?

This morning, plans were pushed aside when my youngest reminded me his chapel was this morning & he really wanted me to be there. I looked at myself in the mirror. Big mistake. There wasn't a ball cap that could hide that mess. So in addition to corralling kids, making lunches, and all the craziness that is the morning routine...I had to bring order to my chaos.

On the drive to school, I was helping Abbie with math, explaining why 0.036 is smaller than 0.367, and why that is smaller than 0.38! Out of the corner of my eye, in the rear-view mirror, I caught sight of my boys spitting at one another!! The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh, NO...you DI-UNT!!!" If I had a free hand I would have done the snaps too. I pulled the van over on the side of the highway & tanned two naughty bottoms. I didn't really care if the trucker passing by thought I was abusing my children. Swift action was necessary. And if there was any question, the next trucker saw me hug them & tell them not to do it again! Spit on the ground or in the sink, but not at each other! My sons were over it in 2 minutes, but my soft-hearted daughters were not. They cried the rest of the way to school. And I felt guilty.

Now I am home. I had a little pity party for myself. No cake, just Pepsi. I grumbled, and mumbled, and cried out to God. "Does anybody care? Does anyone see? Does it matter to anyone?"

And then, I could almost hear that small voice...

"I do."

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit & when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me..." Psalm 139:1-5