Today...

...my youngest child was awake before 6am & was testing out various flashlights in his bed.

...I made him climb into bed with us & threatened him with silence, in the hopes of sleeping just five more minutes!

...I realized that trying to quiet a 5 year old is near impossible.

...I regretted agreeing to sub for a PE teacher yesterday. After countless jumping jacks, windmills, cherry pickers, and sit-ups...I am sore!

...I started a new job, as a teacher's assistant, assigned to a little boy with Downs syndrome.

...that little boy called me a "b----" when I told him to pick up the crayons he threw down.

...that boy gave me a hug & said, "I'm sorry". I like hugs. Especially from cute little repentant boys.

...I tried to learn the names of 25 other Kindergartners.

...I decided it was acceptable to say "you" & point, this first day on the job.

...my children's teachers should be thanking me that I gave my children simple names.

...this kitten peed on my shirt. He's pretty cute, even though he mews incessantly. But I'm still changing my shirt & taking a shower asap.

...we are having pizza for supper, even though I planned a menu on Monday & was all organized & such. But I wasn't a "workin' woman" on Monday. I was a lady of leisure...you know what I mean!

...bedtime won't come soon enough.

...I'm thankful tomorrow is a new day.

Changes? Oh, okay...nevermind.

This week has been an odd mix of preparations, flexibility, uncertainty, and waiting...

Monday the kids went back to school, and I sat down to think through what I wanted to accomplish this week...and ultimately, this year. I tried to think about this over the summer, but have you tried to think with four kids running around? It just doesn't happen. You can think about what to make for lunch, or whether you should go to the library or swimming, but that's about it.

Anyway, I had worked some last year on what it would take to finish my teaching requirements. I had been accepted through an online school that promised a degree with just 30 credit hours necessary to complete my teaching degree. But before I went through the financial paperwork, I thought I would contact the State Department of Education to see what their requirements were.

To make a long story shorter, I found out some new information - if I could get a job working as a teacher's assistant & get the training to become a para-professional, I would be eligible to take the test to become licenced by next summer. After that, I would need to get a teaching job (Hillsdale Christian, where the kids attend, would qualify as a "State Recognized School"), complete 12 hours of coursework, and be reviewed by a board in order to complete the requirements necessary to get a teaching certificate - a 3 year process.

I found out through our local School Board offices, that the only teacher's assistant positions available were in Special Education. I had filled out an application earlier this summer, but then went to various schools to deliver my resume & talk to the principals. School starts on Wednesday & many won't know what positions are available until they finish their registration process.

I was called in for an interview on Friday, for a position working one-on-one with children diagnosed with autism or aspergers. The school is nearby & ideal for dropping off/picking up our own kids. The interview went really well & I was fairly certain I had gotten the job. I came home & kicked into "productivity" mode. (This is different than "panic" mode - it's more of a "Okay, time to get to work" mode!) There was a lot that needed to be done if I would start work on Monday. By Saturday afternoon, I got the call back that though the interview went really well, they hired people with more teaching experience. However, one of the people they hired is pregnant & may be put on "bed rest" by her doctor, so if that happens...they'll call me.

Confident...then disappointed. Bummed. Wanting to be hopeful, but not counting on it. It's one of those things that is completely out of my control, so all I can do is say, "Okay, God..."

Now what? I have been offered a job, teaching 2 year olds 2 days/week for a Mother's Day Out program. But the questions still remain. Is this the best thing for me right now? For our family? Do I continue to pursue other positions? Do I submit applications to substitute?

Now what?

In the midst of the uncertainties, decisions, & questions, I'm grateful I don't have to have all the answers. I have to keep placing my rambling thoughts & concerns in my Father's hands. He knows what is around the bend, what is best, what I can handle right now.

He knows the plans he has for me...

...and I have to keep trusting that He will make that clear...if I can keep waiting on Him.

The story of my life...

I love to tell stories.

...especially if they make someone laugh. Maybe that's why I enjoy blogging. It's a chance to tell my stories to anyone & everyone who is willing to "listen" to them. Plus, at least this way I don't have to worry about boring anyone. (If they don't want to know...then they don't need to read!)

I like to hear stories. Funny ones, yes, but meaningful ones too. Thought-provoking. Ones that challenge me to think. Challenge me to be...more.

This evening I listened to a sermon by Andy Stanley. It is a series of messages dealing with how to make wise decisions & he spoke about the story of our lives.

As I thought back to Bible study this Spring & learning about finding contentment in the midst of "seasons", he reminded me that every season we go through is a part of our story. What seems overwhelming in the present, becomes a few sentences in the future - as we describe that season of our lives. For better...or for worse.

No matter how big a decision you may currently face, or how complicated your life is, at some point in your life, it becomes nothing more than a story that you tell. In every transition in life, and in every decision that you make, you write the script. Whether it's a positive time in your life, or a terrible, surprise season...your next decision is simply an extension of your story.

You don't get to decide what happens to you. BUT you do have full control over how you respond to what happens to you. And how you respond becomes part of the story that you tell.

He told the story of Joseph - how the decisions he made at crucial moments in his life, shaped his story. It was a God-honoring story. In the midst of injustice, false accusations, prison, and family dysfunction, Joseph chose to honor God in his decisions. And the reality is that his response to God (in worse circumstances than I probably will ever have to face), was obedience & acceptance.

I sit back & just think, "Wow."

What story do I want to tell?

It's not only a story I tell to my children, but it becomes part of their story too.

I want it to be funny, for sure. But more than that, I want them to see God in my story.

Night with friends...

It was special to have our friends, Michael & Tammy, along with their cute kiddos, stop in last night on their way to AZ. Our kids remember them from 2 years ago & have heard plenty of stories & prayers for their family. We are blessed to count them as friends & had a great evening talking, laughing, sharing, and just being with them! We made home-made ice cream. The neighbor girl even showed up in time for the fun. ;) The best part is cleaning off the paddle. It's hard work, but someone's got to do it!


Phil & I have come to realize that our "baby" isn't a baby anymore. He'll be in Kindergarten this year & we miss (aspects of...) the toddler years. I would have loved to keep this cute lil' thing around & Abbie fell in love with him! She even took his picture & captured his silly smile...

Grace remembers Joanna from a couple of years ago. She is pen pals with an Amish girl & asked today how long it takes for letters to get to China. :)

Not there yet...

Anyone who has taken a trip with kids expects the familiar question, "Are we there yet?" It's the one question that is never satisfied. Until we arrive at our destination, there is discontent...because we're not there yet. As parents, we plan & pack activities, snacks, DVDs...anything to distract from the length of the trip or inconvenience in the traveling.

I realize that in my anticipation of the arrival, I often forget to enjoy the journey. It's true that being cooped up or confined by a seat belt isn't very fun, but we've made a lot memories as a family when we take the side road & enjoy a moment to stop to look around.

I've been thinking a lot lately about this journey of life. Sometimes I think the road I'm traveling is filled with pits & potholes. I don't enjoy the journey. I don't understand why there need to be detours or maintenance. Some days it isn't fun & I feel trapped. I want to escape & allow myself to be distracted by other things. I don't know where I'm going & why I'm even on this crazy trip in the first place. I just want to hurry up, get it over with, & get there all ready.

Unfortunately...I'm not the one driving. Though I'd like to think I am sometimes. But I'm in the passenger seat, and as much as I protest & try to fight it...my driver knows where He's going, and He is in control...not me. He knows the road ahead, and there's a reason we're going this way. Yes, it may take a while, and the road doesn't promise to be a smooth one, but He is there with me on the journey. He has promised to be with me always & to give me the grace to endure the journey ahead. Even better, He throws in some sight-seeing. A chance to see His greatness in action, an opportunity to revel in His love & mercy.

So, here I am. I don't really know what lies ahead, but I'm trusting the One who does. Now it's time to release my fingernails from the dashboard & enjoy the ride.

The "N" word?

There's a new family that moved in across the street. A dad & his two sons. My boys have loved playing baseball, riding bikes, and getting to know their new friends. Daniel was very serious last night when he came in for supper. "Mom, one of the boys does something that starts with an "N"...but I can't tell you." Um...yes, you need to tell me. He was quiet for a long time & it took some convincing, but he finally divulged. "That one boy doesn't ever wear his shirt!" So I asked the logical question, "Okay...but what is the "N" word that he says...or does?" With a look like "Duh, Mom!", Daniel replied, "I told you....he doesN't wear his shirt!"

Too much work to talk...

Lately Daniel has taken to abbreviating words. Who knows why? Maybe it takes too much effort or too much time to get those long words out, for a little boy who is constantly on the go. But what's more concerning is that we actually understand what he's saying, which only encourages him further! ;)

The other day he asked Phil, "Dad, can you put up the alum?"
Translation: "Dad, can you put up the aluminum ladder...so I can climb up to the tree house?"

And last night he asked, "Who made the zoo?"
Translation: "Who made the zucchini? I want more!"