Changes? Oh, okay...nevermind.

This week has been an odd mix of preparations, flexibility, uncertainty, and waiting...

Monday the kids went back to school, and I sat down to think through what I wanted to accomplish this week...and ultimately, this year. I tried to think about this over the summer, but have you tried to think with four kids running around? It just doesn't happen. You can think about what to make for lunch, or whether you should go to the library or swimming, but that's about it.

Anyway, I had worked some last year on what it would take to finish my teaching requirements. I had been accepted through an online school that promised a degree with just 30 credit hours necessary to complete my teaching degree. But before I went through the financial paperwork, I thought I would contact the State Department of Education to see what their requirements were.

To make a long story shorter, I found out some new information - if I could get a job working as a teacher's assistant & get the training to become a para-professional, I would be eligible to take the test to become licenced by next summer. After that, I would need to get a teaching job (Hillsdale Christian, where the kids attend, would qualify as a "State Recognized School"), complete 12 hours of coursework, and be reviewed by a board in order to complete the requirements necessary to get a teaching certificate - a 3 year process.

I found out through our local School Board offices, that the only teacher's assistant positions available were in Special Education. I had filled out an application earlier this summer, but then went to various schools to deliver my resume & talk to the principals. School starts on Wednesday & many won't know what positions are available until they finish their registration process.

I was called in for an interview on Friday, for a position working one-on-one with children diagnosed with autism or aspergers. The school is nearby & ideal for dropping off/picking up our own kids. The interview went really well & I was fairly certain I had gotten the job. I came home & kicked into "productivity" mode. (This is different than "panic" mode - it's more of a "Okay, time to get to work" mode!) There was a lot that needed to be done if I would start work on Monday. By Saturday afternoon, I got the call back that though the interview went really well, they hired people with more teaching experience. However, one of the people they hired is pregnant & may be put on "bed rest" by her doctor, so if that happens...they'll call me.

Confident...then disappointed. Bummed. Wanting to be hopeful, but not counting on it. It's one of those things that is completely out of my control, so all I can do is say, "Okay, God..."

Now what? I have been offered a job, teaching 2 year olds 2 days/week for a Mother's Day Out program. But the questions still remain. Is this the best thing for me right now? For our family? Do I continue to pursue other positions? Do I submit applications to substitute?

Now what?

In the midst of the uncertainties, decisions, & questions, I'm grateful I don't have to have all the answers. I have to keep placing my rambling thoughts & concerns in my Father's hands. He knows what is around the bend, what is best, what I can handle right now.

He knows the plans he has for me...

...and I have to keep trusting that He will make that clear...if I can keep waiting on Him.