Aaaaaahhhh....

Why does a little picking up make a world of difference? I can see the floor in the boys' & girls' rooms, and in the living room. It is a wonderful thing. The kitchen & bathroom floors are another matter, but I won't focus on that right now. I'm basking in my accomplishments, small as they may be.

The past several weeks have been busy. Well...that's an understatement, but I'm trying to be positive here. There have been wonderful moments...and some tears too. In many ways I love where I'm at...working...teaching. I have fallen in love with these kids, with their unique needs, and funny quirks. I love teaching them & seeing the excitement when they learn something new. It is very fulfilling. Today I told a little boy, "You are so creative." His quick response was, "Like God?" ;)

In other ways, this journey has not been what I expected. There have been "promises" broken and expectations unmet, but it has been a learning process despite the disappointments. I was not prepared for the toll it would take on our family. I knew it would be an adjustment, but nothing prepared me for this. Some nights I feel like...I'm not just out of gas; I'm pushing a semi-truck up a hill...a very big hill. And I wonder where I will find the strength for tomorrow.

Tomorrow always comes, and thank goodness it is a new day! I have been blessed with a new friend - a fellow teacher who has taken me "under her wing", answered countless questions, and provided needed encouragement and wisdom. And I'm thankful for "old" ones too, though they aren't old by any means. :) We went camping with friends this past weekend, and despite being a lot of work & having little sleep, my soul was filled to the brim...and overflowing.

In just another day, I will turn the calendar over & see a beginning and an end...an end to this journey of teaching nine Kindergarteners. I know it will go by fast, despite the crazy days, and I want to make the most of it...not just at work, but at home too. I also know it will be hard to say "good bye". Maybe not at first, but I'll miss it...eventually. :) And I'm praying about the "What next?" and trusting God to show me.

Life in the fast lane

I hate to admit it, but I like to be in the driver's seat. Especially when we're running late for church & Phil is driving 5 miles under the speed limit & taking the longest route to church. I find myself physically pushing my right foot down on my imaginary gas pedal. A few times I thought it would be nice to have one of those cars they use for driver's ed - the kind that gives the driver the illusion of being in control. When we were first married, we bought a little Honda with manual transmission. I loved that car. Something about changing gears & being in a smaller car, made me feel like I was going really fast. I like to go fast. I don't like to putter along slowly. It feels like a waste of time. I want to get there. Get things going. Get to the point.

The point. The point is, these days, I'm longing for the scenic route. I think the Amish have something here. It's hard to hurry much when you're driving a buggy around. You have to plan ahead & be prepared to take it slow. As much as I love things about my life right now, I'm not really loving life in the fast lane. I want to be able to slow down a little and smell those roses. It's hard to find time to enjoy the moment when you're rushing from one thing to the next. I feel like a honeybee during the peak of honey-making season. They go, go, go for 3 weeks and then they die. Work themselves to death. I really don't want to be a honeybee.

Well, I can't end this post here. That would be too depressing. And I'm not depressed. Overwhelmed. Over tired. Over extended. Yes. But not depressed.

I keep reminding myself that God led me to this place - to the fast lane. So I'm depending on him to carry me through. And even though it's stinkin' hard, I am thankful for all that he is teaching me. In the meantime, I'm trying to plan ahead so I have moments of "taking it slow" - talking with my daughter, reading to my son, playing with my kids, laughing with my husband, cherishing my friendships, resting in my Lord...

First day

Well...sort of. My "official" first day of teaching was on Friday, but that was only half a day & it was mostly "fun", so I'm not sure that it counts. :) Today was our first full day, and to say that I'm tired would be an understatement. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I just got the kids in bed & now it's "okay, what do I HAVE to do before I go to sleep?". Not what do I want to do, or what needs to be done, but was has to be done in order to make it through tomorrow. That makes it sound like I'm barely surviving, which isn't true.

I felt like today went really well. I'm learning how to adjust, that I need more comfortable shoes, that Kindergartners need a lot of movement, that I can let go of some things, and that despite the work, I'm going to love this job.

I was a little nervous about rest time. I decided that instead of showing a movie (which honestly, would have been a wonderful break!), I would read a Thomas Burgess book. They are older books, and I needed to modify some of the wording, but I was amazed at how it captured the kids' attention. We read the first 3 chapters of The Adventures of Jimmy Skunk. They seemed to enjoy it & I was glad I had some beanie babies for visuals. I ran into one Mom just as I was leaving & she told me her son said his favorite part of the day was "story time". That the skunk story was so funny & he wanted to hear what happens tomorrow. That made my day.

I'm also learning that it pays to be organized. I'm okay at doing things impromptu, but not great. I need a plan. I'm anal that way. Now I just need to learn how to be flexible when what I've planned doesn't turn out exactly as I expected...

All right. Enough about school. If I'm going to survive my second day...I'd better get to bed, and soon!!