When I took this job in August, I imagined how my life would change...
Five days a week I care for a 5 year old boy with Downs syndrome. But there is nothing "down" about it. He's loving, silly, smiley, cuddly, and a lot of fun. He's a stinker too, for sure, but the good far outweighs the bad. Even on the hard days. And there are a lot of them.
I pick him up every morning at his home, which provides a neat opportunity to get to know his family, and for them to get to know me in turn. Some mornings he's ready to go, and other mornings, like this morning, he is kicking & screaming all the way to the car. We drive 20 minutes to school. Some times we listen to the radio, some times he sleeps and I enjoy the quiet, and every day I have the chance to pray over him and our day before it begins.
We hit the ground running once we get to school. Breakfast, attendance, recess, Speech, and Occupational therapy. 2 hours in and we're working one-on-one: counting, matching, cutting, drawing, grasping, rolling, tracing, sorting...and fighting. Usually he's fighting against what I want him to do. He has every excuse in the book. His tummy hurts, his leg hurts, he's hungry, he's tired, he can't. But my job is to stretch him and teach him and challenge him that he can.
By lunch I can see the end in sight. Another recess and then rest time, my favorite time of the day! I've gotten smart & we do exercises before we lay down to read a book. So instead of listening to him cuss me out for those 10 minutes, we're both getting a work-out & he takes a better nap! ;) Then there are centers and worksheets in the classroom, one last recess, and time to pack up & head home. Another quiet ride home and my day is done...
Not exactly. Once I drop my little guy off at his home, I have a few more minutes of respite before I start my second job. Or should I say, my primary job? And so begins the whirlwind of homework, supper, baths, stories, and bedtime. Deep breath. The kids are in bed. Now what? There's laundry, bills, dishes, piles, email...does it ever end?
None of this should surprise me.
I imagined how busy life would be. I've admired other moms who juggle work & home. But in my fantasy world I had endless energy to maintain it all. I hadn't anticipated what I would be giving up. An organized house for one. And you all know how the lack of it drives me bananas. ;) Free time. Time with friends over a cup of coffee, or over a sale rack at Old Navy, or over a plethora of card stock & scrap paper, or over a piece of pie. I love pie.
Life as I now know it is a little crazy. Well, maybe a lot. But I'm learning some things along the way. I'm learning that I can accept an unorganized home, even if I have to take some deep breaths. I'm learning laundry piles make people feel at home, because chances are they have them too! Supper doesn't have to be fancy. I've never heard the kids complain about Mac 'n' cheese or Ramen or Spaghetti or Pizza. And we're learning to all pitch in as a family to get things done.
So it's not what I anticipated.
But that's okay.
4 comments:
I decided long ago that snuggling and book reading and family time was much more important that the laundry or the floors. They get done, just usually out of absolute necessity- and early in the morning. It is definitely difficult to give up some of those freedoms (coffee with friends, sale racks, naps etc.) to be a working mom, but that little boy is definitely reaping the benefits a little bit of Amy
you work so hard and you are a great wife and mother!! You should be proud of all that God has allowed you to sustain and accomplish! You Amy;.....are an inspiration!!!
Aim, I'm so glad we had a chance to talk yesterday. I wish I had read this beforehand, so I could better understand where you were coming from. Seriously, you've been on my mind much lately, and now I know why;) You never fail to impress, inspire, challenge, and encourage me. I know you feel tired, discouraged, & inadequate (at least, I think so), but His Light and Grace continue to shine through you, touching those around you. I can't even begin to imagine how God is using you to change "your boy" & his family through your Christ-like love for and faithfulness to him & them. And on a day that you might feel guilty for not being the kind of mom you think you should be b/c you're working, or whatever, remember that God's grace is sufficient for your family, too, & He is pouring His love out on them through you even then. Wish I could say all this better, and with a huge hug, but I think you get it. I love you so much! How many more days til Camp?;)
wow, Amy, what an amazing blessing you are to this little boy & his family...then wow once again how you juggle your own family besdies being such a great blessing to this boy. Hang in there, you're doing an incredible job!!! ;-)
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